127. Does NOT break up with you by mailing your stuff to you with only a crappy letter to explain why. Hate men:<

126. Cooks for you and knows how to choose an appropriate bottle of wine.

125. Does not mysteriously fall off the face of the earth after a handful of good dates.

124. Does NOT have kids. I don't care if you only have them on the weekends, I am NOT interested!

123. Doesn't go on three fabulous dates with you and then "freak out" b/c we might like each other enough to maybe enter a "relationship." (duh duh DUHHHHHHHHHHH)

122. Emails/calls in a timely fashion. Damnit!

121. Doesn't make obnoxious comments about my last name. As if I've never heard any of them before:<

120. Is good with computers. Or at least doesn't totally hate computers. Or at least totally hates computers but doesn't care if YOU don't totally hate computers.

119. If any letting down has to be done for any reason, is able to let you down easy while you maintain a modicum of self-respect -- at the very least, without making it so fucking difficult, stupid or embarrassing. Not that I'm bitter.

118. Would hurry up and find ME already. It's not like Cinti is some vast unpopulated region...geez...

117. Genuinely does not understand our body image issues, because even when we feel less than thin and beautiful, he thinks we're beautiful. However, even though he doesn't agree with our own harsh assessments of ourselves, he is still supportive and caring and says and does the right things to make us feel better on those oh-so-occasional days when we think we shouldn't have eaten that cookie and now we're going to punish ourselves for it.
116. Says "wow, you look great" and the like, because he means it, not because he thinks he's supposed to, or because it's what you want to hear, or because he thinks it will get him some action later.

115. Doesn't make you watch stupid, bloody, violent, disgusting or incredibly boring movies, yet doesn't mind indulging (and enjoying) the occasional chick flick. Examples of excluded movies would be The Thirteenth Warrior (bloody, violent, incredibly boring), Outside Providence (so boring I don't remember the plot), that stupid Spinal Tap movie, American Pie II, Ace Ventura, etc.

114. Supports your bad-ass, radical feminist self
113. Loves you for you and doesn't try to *control* you
112. Practices good table manners (ie. doesn't pick his teeth at the table while everyone is eating)

111. Calls.

110. Gets up early to let the dogs out for you and then comes back to bed:> That one's for M.
109. Is not an asshole. I mean, in general. Not just about money, or bailing on you at the last minute (I know men like that...), or being nasty when relationship stuff gets difficult. Not that it has to be difficult, but, you know. So no assholes!

hmmm...rollercoasters. I concur on that one!
108. Would come and cheer for my pathetically sucky softball team

107. Does not sunburn easily
106. Is not fucking cheapskate (clarification: is totally OK if he does not have money. that not a problem. problem is if he is ASSHOLE about money, if he is stingy and inconsiderate about it -- is big difference.)
105. Does not bail on things at last minute, especially after raising hopes about them
104. Likes rollercoasters

103. Doesn't say it if he doesn't mean it. This goes for absolutely everything.

102. When giving flowers, gives gorgeous flowers, ie does not think carnations are appropriate flowers to give, on any occasion (this item was submitted by someone who is not allowed to post here due to her tpm status. However, I agree, so I'm posting it.)

You're right- you can definitely tell who contributed which items to this list. I would like to absolve myself from 7 (while I do like an occasional grey haired guy, it is not a must), 8 (same goes for older men), 32 (I don't know if I myself tolerate dog fur on everything), 36 (beard = ouch), 44 (magic tricks are cool, but I am SO not ruling someone out for not being skilled in this area), 80 (must tolerate Dar, eh on the Elton thing, as long as he doesn't call him a fairy), and 78 (not a coffee drinker).

Okay, my friend Margot suggested a caveat regarding the vasectomy requirement b/c she thinks her ex- husband thought after his vasectomy, that it gave him "license to go shooting all over town." Please note the addendum. Did I spell that right? Also, I absolve myself of number 36 b/c beard burn on your neck (and thighs) is no laughing matter.

I love this. It's so obvious who's chosen which ones.

And for the record, I absolve myself of a few of them: 1 (wouldn't be a bad thing but is not a requirement), 7, 8, 19, 68, 80 (I don't care if he can't tolerate Elton John, sorry Kel), 88 (because I'm afraid of the doctor, so it's not fair to ask him not to be), 89 (ditto on the glass houses point, although "not loudly" isn't too much to ask). The rest of them are musts.

HEE. Loving this.

Here goes -- these are the 101 original qualities. Numbers go backward so that we can add to the list as needed.

101. Good communicator
100. Honest
99. Likes to sleep late and have brunch
98. Good at crossword puzzles
97. Smells good
96. Forthright with feelings
95. Gets along with his family
94. Motivated
93. Intelligent
92. Good sense of humor
91. Generous
90. Flexible (not necessarily in the put your foot behind your ear kind of flexible)
89. Doesn’t snore loudly
88. Isn’t afraid of the doctor
87. Brings flowers
86. Likes kids
85. Not afraid of commitment
84. Isn’t afraid of the "L" word
83. Isn’t selfish in bed
82. Likes to provide hours of oral pleasure
81. Likes to give backrubs and brush hair
80. Must tolerate Dar and Elton John
79. Teases in an appropriate and non-hurtful manner
78. Owns an espresso machine and know how to use it
77. Supportive
76. Wants to meet your parents
75. Insightful
74. Open-minded
73. Has a job/in school
72. Doesn’t engage in emotional fuckwittage
71. Taller but not thinner than we are
70. Nice to your family
69. Loves my dog (not just likes, or tolerates, but LOVES my dog)
68. Optimistic
67. Not rude to people
66. Knows investment banking stuff
65. Is a handy person around the house and car
64. Cooks (does not mean can open a can of something and eat the contents with a fork)
63. Cleans after self
62. Does laundry
61. Spontaneous
60. Romantic—not just on Hallmark holidays
59. Practices good hygiene
58. Likes to go hiking and grill outdoors
57. Is socially conscious
56. Is NOT a Republican (not willing to do a lifetime of community service here)
55. Possesses social skills
54. Doesn’t pee on seat
53. Has nice teeth/hands
52. Has nice shoulders
51. Gives good hugs
50. Knows how to draw a bath
49. Has clean hair and a nice hair style
48. Shares responsibility for birth control
47. Doesn’t mind going to weddings
46. LOVES your friends
45. Knows a lot of jokes
44. Can do magic tricks
43. Doesn’t chew with mouth open
42. Takes care of you when you’re sick
41. Is independent but not afraid to show vulnerable side
40. Doesn’t say "gay" or "retarded" inappropriately
39. Isn’t intimidated by independent and assertive women
38. Willing to have a vasectomy after all kids are born (no tubal ligations on this woman)
37. Has similar interests in arts and entertainment
36. Has a beard (this one is for G)
35. Has fun and excited different interests about which he is very passionate and wants to teach you about them
34. Self-deprecating humor
33. Likes to wrestle – gently.
32. Doesn’t mind dog fur on everything
31. Doesn’t eat obnoxiously
30. Is a good sport
29. Doesn’t mind if we don’t shave everyday
28. Doesn’t fart a lot
27. Shares similar values and beliefs
26. Believes in value of education
25. Creative
24. Believes in social justice
23. Volunteers
22. Philanthropist
21. Likes to read
20. Likes museums
19. Has dark hair
18. Doesn’t hog the bed
17. Good and conscientious driver
16. No religious fanatics
15. No homophobes, sexists, racists, and other inappropriate –ists
14. Non-smoker
13. Not a frat boy drinker (no offense Jason)
12. Not a scary sports fanatic
11. Tolerates Harry Potter
10. Doesn’t expect us to change my name when we get married
9. Must hate Rush Limbaugh
8. Must tolerate my obsession with Harrison Ford (and most older men in general)
7. Must have prematurely gray hair!!!!!!!!!!!!
6. Must not know the name of a single supermodel
5. Must possess cute little idiosyncrasies that are alternately endearing and annoying
4. Must not be too perfect
3. Must be calming
2. Must be computer literate and know how to fix the darned things
1. Must be Aidan from Sex in the City

heh heh...

la la, this is our new blog. the formula for the perfect man -- who definitely exists and is not at all contradictory -- will soon be available.