these are some small requirements, which are completely reasonable and not at all contradictory. if think you might be the perfect man, please apply within.


  128. Fixes confusing computer issues, thereby allowing you to avoid confusing conversations that make you feel dumb with tech support people, even when they are very nice and good tech support people. Maybe they should BE our tech support people. Also, never EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER mail your stuff to you with a letter or a check or fucking ANYTHING. HATE HIM.

127. Does NOT break up with you by mailing your stuff to you with only a crappy letter to explain why. Hate men:<